I was talking to a client who is going into a negotiation with an employer who will use my client for contract work. My client wants a "win/win" solution. I reminded him that he didn't have to be responsible for the employer, that the employer could take care of his own interests. Sometimes we bend over backwards so far to be fair that we forget about putting our own interests top of mind. This is a message mostly for those who find they don't get their own needs met, for the "people pleasers" among us, not for those who want to win at all costs.
We are once again in the midst of the Olympics. I can’t imagine doing any of the routines which is perhaps one reason I am not able to do so. (However, age and lack of athletic talent might also play a part.) This topic does tie into job search in that we need to see ourselves as successful. We humans probably spend more time berating ourselves for mistakes we make than we do in visualizing success.
Olympic athletes go over their routines not just in practice but also mentally numerous times. They envision success, not failure.
Of course, to be successful we must have and then practice the necessary skills. After that we need to get out of our own way, let go of fear and envision success
One way to visualize overall success is to write a letter (does not need to be sent) to someone you admire as if it were one year from today. The letter recipient can be a friend, fictional character in a book, someone in the past, your future self. In that letter, outline all the good things that have happened to you during the year and how happy you feel. Be very specific about the successes and your emotions around this success. Really feel the power of this.
To visualize success in interviewing, visualize yourself walking into the interview room, confidently answering questions, asking questions, ending the interview.
Another suggestion is to change your definition of success until you land. In some events it is announced that a competitor had beaten his/her prior personal best. I like this as a measurement because everyone can do it, not just those who win medals. So I suggest to you that you strive to beat your personal best in number of networking calls, resumes sent out, comfort level at interviewing. If you set the bar at increasing your ability rather than winning the job, you will see yourself as successful, which then, with the right opportunity, your practice and feelings of comfort will end up in your winning the job you want.
HOW TO REACH ME
www.careercoachjill.com for career coaching
The Management Tip of the Day from Harvard Business Review
Like any other leadership capacity, stress management requires self-awareness. Leaders who manage stress effectively are able to recognize signs that they’re approaching their tipping point and consciously, deliberately step back from the edge. The next time you notice your stress levels increasing, take a moment to notice your breath. Start with a couple of strong, long, and deep breaths. Notice the physical sensations that accompany each one. After taking a few of these initial breaths, switch to a technique called “resonant breathing.” Inhale for 10 seconds and exhale for 10 seconds, for a total of six breaths per minute. You may find it helpful to do this while walking; the pace of your steps can provide a regular tempo for each breath. Eventually the rhythm will continue on its own and you can stop timing. Continue to breathe in and out until your state of mind shifts and you feel a sense of control over your emotions.
At least 3 times (and if you are reading this, you know how wonderful I think you are and therefore, don’t have to prove it) I have suggested to clients that they remove the mention of “Mensa” from their resumes. There is no need to rub it in that you are more intelligent than your future boss and it could reduce your chances of being hired. There are incredible amounts of times that I have really argued that clients remove from their summaries “20 years of experience in blah, blah, blah…” Or even 25 years of experience in… Mention of great numbers of years only proves that you might be lots older than your future boss. I also suggest that unless you are looking for a job in consulting or are right out of school, you leave off your GRE or GMAT scores.
Why? What is important in a resume is not the gifts that God has given you but how you have used them and these are demonstrated in your accomplishments. You don’t want your future boss to think she is brighter than I am, older than I am, more experienced than I am. You want FB to dream about what a great job you are going to do and how successful you are going to make FB’s team. You do this by the accomplishments that you list in your resume in bullet point form. They have an action verb, are frequently quantified and demonstrate that what you did was good for your employer or customer/client. For example:
- Reduced customer service complaints 25%.
- Attained 110% of quota in 2008 despite a difficult economy.
- Grew Profit...
- Grew Revenue...
Two clients recently complained that they got rejected for jobs that they interviewed for. Your not getting the job, does not mean you were rejected. It simply means that you did not get the job. When you put the emphasis on your being rejected, you give yourself a double whammy of negativity.
You might have even been perfect for the job. I remember helping Wally find the perfect person for his department. He wanted someone with an automotive background and an MBA from a good school. The first excellent 10 candidates weren’t good enough. I threw in a ringer in frustration and that is the one Wally wanted. What Wally really wanted was someone who could never be promoted over his head and someone who could make Wally look good by comparison.
Mike Royko’s book, BOSS, if I remember correctly had a line in it, “We don’t want nobody that nobody sent.” So take a hint and network to increase your chances of getting selected.
One recent client got a job offer several months after he had interviewed and someone else received the offer. Another similar job came open in the company and he was offered that job without the job being posted and without having to interview for it. So in the words of Yogi Berra “It ain't over till it's over.”
Much success in your search and let me know if I can help you.
For those who have been to my website or blog before you might notice the difference and that is due to the artistry of my daughter-in-law, Leslie Mac of the Ferguson Response Network. My website got hacked about three weeks ago. Leslie designed my new website, chose a new look and put this one up quickly under very tight time constraints. Changes will be made as we go along but she really got the feel of what I wanted. I also want to thank my son Drew for what he did technically and that I can’t even describe.
Although a hacked website is not nearly as difficult as losing a job (and I have been laid off three time), there are some similarities. There is the shock, the need for action and change, need for help from others, the need for a vision for the future and the perspective shift that the new thing might be even better. Please contact me if I can help you with your job search, not just with the tools but also the confidence to overcome the past and move ahead.